Help Without Judgment
Friday, August 1, 2025, whoops…it’s only July 31. Save that rabbit rabbit for tomorrow.
Help Without Judgment
Rabbit Rabbit. I cannot believe that it is August. Time is marching on. As Calvin and I went on our morning constitutional, I felt good. My back didn’t hurt, nor did my shoulder. It could be the Advil PM I took last night, but whatever the reason, I felt good, and I grew taller as I walked. I was thinking about this website and my desire to make it great. But I can’t think about the website without thinking about the women in my life. I have such diverse friends. How can I help them or support them? With all their differences. What is the common ground?
I have friends of all kinds. Some have money, and some are as poor as a church mouse. I am trying to be as observant as I can. Listen to their problems and issues, and I get complaints about the house cleaner not vacuuming up the mouse poop behind the couch, and they are going to turn off the electricity if $1000 isn’t raised by tomorrow. Each person’s issues are just as important to them as anyone else’s. I read a book by Dr. Edith Eva Eger, a holocaust survivor who became a therapist, and she discusses this issue. You have to find a way to help that is relevant to each person, and each person’s issues are just as important, no matter what they are about. Help has to come without judgment. Is the mouse poop as important as the electric bill? To the person with the poop, it is just as important, and we can’t judge how it affects the person.
As I contemplate this new venture, I am exploring the drive behind it. My drive is to try to be there for anyone who needs to hear that they are loved, wanted, and important. No one should ever be treated disrespectfully or made to feel they don’t matter. When I was in the middle of cancer treatment, I spent a lot of time alone, sick, in pain, and scared. Brian had checked out a long time ago, but I didn’t know it. He was there physically less and less, and mentally (I say mentally, not emotionally, as he is not capable of any real emotion), because he was in a full-blown relationship with Swinehilda. There is no way to know how much of his treachery was seeping into my life that I felt; I was too sick to differentiate. But being discarded while you are in that state takes you somewhere else, and it is only later, when the dust settles, that you can see it for what it really is. You didn’t even mean enough to the person you thought loved you to warrant a goodbye. The despair and utter devastation following a narcissistic discard, especially while suffering through cancer treatment, is something no person should ever have to endure at the hands of another. Cancer is hard enough to deal with without any extras. But anyone who is suffering should be comforted, not judged. Judgment is reserved for God or whatever Higher Power you believe in.